All happy families are not alike...
Leo Tolstoy once wrote, “Happy families are all alike; unhappy families are all different in their own way.” Tolstoy was wrong, especially when it comes to atypical families. My family is very different from a lot of families; yet I would say we are happy.
My oldest son Nat, now 20, has severe autism. My other two sons, Max and Ben, do not. Autism has provided a certain shape to our family structure; things have been very difficult for us, and yet autism is not a death sentence. Autism is not the end of the world; just the end of one kind of world.
My experiences with autism have run the gamut — an entire spectrum’s worth of changes in viewpoint. We are still, as a family, a work in progress. Sometimes we have it down; sometimes we are lost again. But one thing we are is a strong family, not defined by autism, but greatly affected by it, negatively and positively. Tolstoy was not right; come find out why.
I have written two books with this experience in mind. My first book, Making Peace with Autism: One Family’s Story of Struggle, Discovery, and Unexpected Gifts, is about how we have learned to be a family in spite of autism, moving beyond grief in the face of acute challenge.
My second book, The Autism Mom’s Survival Guide (For Dads, Too!): Creating a Balanced and Happy Life While Raising a Child with Autism, is a collection of stories, discoveries, strategies, and honest insights from my own life and from other autism parents as well.
I’ve written many articles on parenting, special needs, autism, politics, and life in general, that convey moments of struggle and resolution, of self-doubt and understanding. My work has appeared in a variety of publications, from educational journals to the New York Times. I have covered topics such as my autistic son’s bar mitzvah, his transition to adulthood, my middle son’s adjustment to the high academic expectations of sixth grade, and the day I volunteered in my youngest son’s kindergarten class.
Becoming a mother, especially an autism mother, has made me an advocate. I have found some very helpful organizations and books along the way, that deal with autism and adversity.
Look around my site and blog, and find out why all happy families are not alike…