Susan's Blog

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Lover/Beloved

Here is yesterday’s “controversial” post. This is not about my love for Ned; it is about love in general, between friends. It is about how I have experienced love sometimes. Unfortunately, many, many times it has felt this complicated and painful to me. But not my marriage; never my marriage. That is one of the few things in this life that I have somehow gotten right (knock wood, etc.)

Why does love got to be so sad?
–Eric Clapton, 1970, before he pursued, won, then divorced Patti Boyd Harrison, his good friend George Harrison’s wife.

I know I’ve blogged this topic before,
so forgive me if it’s a crashing bore
But I’ve got to work it once more through
And bounce it off of all of you
I just want it to make some sense
But sometimes I fear I’m just too dense.
My question is: why do we love?
What causes it, what’s it made of?
What is that moment when you see someone
As something more than just for fun?
Why do we suddenly have to need
And those strong feelings, then, do lead
Us to forget ourselves and all we have
Thinking that now we’ve found a better half.
Is it all about luck and choices we make?
But in choosing we find a remaining ache
For we always seek that missing piece
One way or another, and find no peace.
–me, today, eternally

Does anyone else out there perceive certain relationships as a chase? Are all relationships, to some degree, about beloved and lover, as Socrates posited? Do all people have that moment of vulnerability, when they realize that they do indeed want/need this person, and in realizing the desire, they lose something? Why does that loss sometimes feel greater than what we’ve gained?

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