Susan Senator

(Sung to the tune of "Hips Don't Lie," by Shakira)

More whining...

Never knew my knee could make me feel so ill
It makes a woman want to take Advil
I want my Mama
My Papa
Should rest in mi casa

Oh body when you act like this
You make this woman go mad
I'm in -- midlife crisis
I better -- go ice this
And start reading the signs of my body

Oh I'm in pain tonight
My hip's not spry
And my knuckles are turning white
But if I go
Real slow
Will it still hurt me like so?

Not a girl,
But I really got my body moving
Now it's driving me crazy
And I
Didn't have the slightest idea
Until I started belly dancing
And when I woke up from the dance floor
Nobody could ignore the way I've been kvetching
And all this pain's so unexpected -- the way it keeps on throbbing
Yet I just keep on shaking it.

Never knew a workout could be so much fun
Unless you count my Cape Cod run
No way I'm stoppin'
Motrin I'm poppin'
Makes me feel better than shoppin'

You know I ran today
It hurt so much that I couldn't finish, no way
But tomorrow
I'll still go
Baby I'm an Exercise Fanatico

Senorita
Such temerity
Now you got to go to
Physical therapy

No whining!