Susan Senator
All happy families are not alike...
All happy families are not alike...
A Rose By Any Other Name?
What’s in a name?
Names and the naming of children is a very personal and meaningful undertaking. Why did Mom name me “Susan?” I have always felt it is so boring and plain. She first thought to name me “Sarel,” after my great grandmother, (my bubbe), but Mom thought it was too exotic!
Too exotic!!! It is a wonderful name!!!
I get my wish, this late in life, to change my name, at least for belly dance…So I am wondering about naming.
[But first I have to ask, as John Adams did in one of my favorite plays, 1776: “Is anybody there? Does anybody care?” I have been getting fewer comments so I wonder if I’m over. I’ll still keep on writing, because it’s what I do, but I like hearing from people! Okay, on with the show.]
It feels like most of my life, I strive for one thing, and end up with another. I strive for sophistication and elegance, but I never quite get there. In decorating, I ape Restoration Hardware living rooms and end up with funky, shabby chic. In hairstyle, I think “straight and glossy,” and end up with curly/wavy after a few hours. In body, I aimed for “as thin as possible,” and still ended up with curves and waves.
In mothering, I have always tried to be smart and fair. I end up with passionate and moody.
In belly dance, I strive for controlled and graceful. I end up with shake, shake, shake my meaty booty. I don’t shine; I sweat.
So I’m wondering, for the first time ever, if my Mom-given name “Susan” or, as most of my oldest friends know me, “Sue” actually fits me better than I thought. All my life, I dreamed of being a long-straight-haired girl named “Deborah,” or “Anastasia,” “Natasha,” “Alexandra,” “Elena;” so in a fit of midlife pique, I started insisting people at least call me “Susan,” to make the “Sue” more respectable, the more elegant form of the name.
But no matter what I do, I’m a Sue. I’m not elegant. I’m accessible. I’m an open book. What you see is what you get. It’s no mystery. I am no Anastasia.
So maybe I’ll just be the more exotic form of Susan: Shoshana. The Hebrew version. Means “a rose.” Not bad, not at all bad as flowers go. Maybe, maybe Mom was right??!! Maybe she knew me better than I thought…
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A rose, delicate yet thorny. good name. Another thought… Nat likes Disney videos.. so- what about trying to connect with him through that media and with your dancing? Polar Express has a dance scene with hot chocolate. Why not jump on the couch and get into that scene? Would you be able to get Ben and Nat to do that? Just a way to get off the couch, but yet have that common ground and connection. Lots of dance scenes in Disney. Many male dancers in polynesian dances. Indian rain dance. Just brain storming. Even, if Nat wouldn’t dance with you, what about your nice girl who is doing VB, take a break and do a simple 4 step waltz? Could hum the tune to Cinderella’s “So this is Love”…taking a break from words. He might really enjoy that. Just reminds me of when I was 2 and dancing on top of my grandpa’s big boots. Or when I could pick up my son and take him for a gentle spin around the living room. Only rule is NO Snickering allowed! This is for innocent fun! Just a thought.
Enna –
You are just full of great ideas!!! I think Nat would love to dance with me. I will try it and report back.
Just dropping a note to say that I enjoy your blog everyday! Please keep writing!
Still out here reading every day, I just don’t want to be a pest with too many comments. My dad told me that he named me Janet Gayle after Janet Gaynor because she had great legs. Good thing too, since I do happen to have fabulous legs!!
Enjoying your posts every day! Be here, so full of energy and passion!
What’s funny, the names like Anastasia, Natasha, Alexandra sound exotic to you. But my two kids with such Russian names — Jasha and Anya — want us to call them Jacob and Anna — sound prettier to them.
A name that means “rose” fits you, IMO. 🙂
At some point, I wished I were “Juliana” instead of “Julia”. I got that wish for awhile, with a Spanish teacher. It was nice coming from her, but I realized it wasn’t going to fit me so well coming from EVERYONE.
I’d love to see you bellydance sometime. I don’t think it’s going to happen, but it would be nice if it did….
I am a Susan too, and my sister has the exotic name of Aurelia, which I pined for!!!
Susan is a bit common, there are four of us Moms named Susan in my daughter’s class.
I think you should use your grandmother’s name as your bellydance name – what a way to honor her.
Anyway, I always read and don’t always comment because I feel I should be witty and I usually can’t muster that up (today being no exception).
Gosh, I wish you all would feel free to comment and not worry about “wit.” Am I always witty? Hell no!
“Sarel” as a belly dancer’s name: My bubbe is rolling in her grave. Or else, dancing?! I actually love that idea.
I joyfully read everything you write on here. It’s a window into a life that’s so incredibly different from anything I’ve ever experienced — I’m a single, twenty-three year old male who’s never lived out of the bible belt — that I never have any intelligent comments to make.
But your blog is an important part of my day so I’m very grateful that you keep writing even when we don’t comment! Perhaps I should say it more often: thanks Susan!
I am a lurker too but I wanted to say how much I enjoy your blog. You are certainly not over! Your blog gives me lots of hope and inspiration.
My middle name is Susan too and I used to think it was plain – it was my grandmother’s name – but now I think it is the name of a strong woman! You are certainly that and a lot more.
Thanks for your wonderful writing.
Eithne
Susan, I love reading your blog. You express yourself so well, and not only do you inspire me, but you truly motivate me.
Also, I wonder why no one has commented on how great you look in that blue bathing suit? Well, you do! and great tan, something I will never get – too fair!
Also, I read your newspaper article, and loved it.
One of my favorite and long-time friends is my sister Kelly Susan Eddy. People frequently call her Kelly Sue, so I am obviously biased to the name Susan. I have never met one I didn’t like. It could be so so much worse, Dear Lady. Your name could be Barbara Ann. Blech. I find it interesting that your name choices all end in an “uh” sound. It’s funny..because I used to say this thing when I was in high school. I knew so many girls then with that sound at the end of their names, usually ending in the letter a like my own name. So I used to say, when I met a person with a name like this, “Welcome to the uh club.” I am nutso and have always been about baby names. I will have to email my latest choices. Good luck with that striving thing. I haven’t figured it out either. 😀 -Tina G.
I’m still here. 🙂 Still reading, and popping in with the occaisonal comment.
But, alas, NaNoWriMo has eaten my soul. I’m far less online now than I aws in October.
I was meant to be a Gwennyfyer, but my mother won in the end and I got Jennifer. In a hospital that had 13 Jennifer Dawn’s in one year, I’m glad I ended up with something different at least.
Technically, Sarel is your “Alter-Bubbe” and your Mother’s “Bubbe.” When Lorraine & I named our two daughters Basya & Bayla after my maternal grandmother and her maternal great-grandmother, respectively, we got some flak from friends. In our Orthodox Jewish community some feel that the names are a bit dated and may unfairly peg the girls as hailing from a more, ah, “hidebound” Jewish upbringing then they actually are (everything being relative, of course.) we felt that, concerns aside, we wouldn’t let anything stand in our way of honoring our forebears by bestowing their names upon our children. Also, we were pleasantly surprised how many people -outside of our close-knit world that perceived the subtle implications of our daughters’ names- found “Basya” and “Bayla” to be beautiful and lyrical. More so when told that Basya literally means “daughter of god.”