Susan's Blog

Saturday, December 9, 2006

A Mother’s Grief

A bullet of grief
Burst through my head
Blood and tears
As I lay on my bed.

In my mirror
A picture of you
You look like you’re trying so hard
It’s just what you do

And then I thought
“Do you want to talk?
Is it that you just can’t?”
And my heart stopped
My face in my hands

I could not bear
That you might want to
And all of these years
It’s what you can’t do

Dad had that dream
You were talking to him
He said it was real
But he was crying

Lying here still
My hand on my heart
I want to tell you
It’s okay, be who you are

But if you are not happy
If life is too hard
I want to know that
Though it tears me apart

I will do anything
A piece of my brain?
I don’t need you normal
But just ease your pain.

6 comments

I get this, I feel this, maybe not in the way you do but in a very similar way.

— added by Kristen on Saturday, December 9, 2006 at 9:23 pm

Sue; Does this mean you’re becoming a curebie? I have that dream too but I act on it and help my kid. I knew we’d get through to some of you.

— added by Foresam on Saturday, December 9, 2006 at 11:48 pm

*hugs*
I can think of nothing poignant to say… so I’m just going to give you a hug.

— added by Anonymous on Sunday, December 10, 2006 at 3:28 am

Frustraiing? Yes.

— added by Anonymous on Sunday, December 10, 2006 at 6:32 am

I totally relate to this. ((hugs))

— added by KC's Blog on Sunday, December 10, 2006 at 12:07 pm

I think teaching Nat to type words to express himself would be the way to go next. Give him “a way to speak”, if you feel he can’t do it with a physical voice. There are many other ways to communicate besides speaking with a physical voice. If Nat is reading I’m sure he could learn to type. I hate to hear such despair over something that is not hopeless…I think he really needs a “form” of expression, and you are really needing to communicate with him through whatever “form” works for him.

— added by Candy on Sunday, December 10, 2006 at 11:41 pm

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