Susan's Blog

Thursday, May 3, 2007

My Downs and Ups

My ups, my ups, my lovely lady ups.
–Black-Eyed Peas (?)

I took a one-day hiatus from sharing my blog with all of you. Yesterday began horribly, and it led to my decision to take myself back from the Public I. But in doing so, I forgot just how many good-hearted people there are out there who are compassionate and help me just as much as they claim I help them.

I am going to summarize some of what’s going on:
1) An excellent IEP meeting on Monday, where we (the team) did a lot of working out details of Nat’s coming year in terms of his comprehensive development (vocational training, communication work, leisure/fun repetoire). Everyone seemed really to understand Nat, and to appreciate his gifts. There were many specific examples as well as clinical three-year evaluations of Nat’s growth. To fully understand how far he has come in just a few years — this made me very happy. I now feel that we have a vision for the next 5 years, and a bit of a path has been cut for us to follow.

However, as often happens when something wonderful occurs regarding Nat, I became very melancholy over the next few days. I realized once again just how much psychological energy it takes to do what I need to do for him. Not just the meetings and the phone calls and the delicate negotiating with others; there is also the weight of worry about him, the lifelong sense of his dependence on us. The feeling that he is such an innocent, as compared to the complex world he lives in, and the need to be sure he can either protect himself (whether from the errant car that runs the light even though Nat sees that the sign says he can “walk,” or from the indifferent professional whose lack of connection cuts off an avenue of potential growth and happiness) or be protected.

2) Max wants to get dredlocks. He is 15 and it is getting harder and harder for me to tell him he can’t do things to his appearance. I can give him my opinion, and try to steer him away from what I think are unfortunate choices. I save the fights for really important stuff, like morality, grades, safe sex, no drugs or alcohol.

3) Spring is in high gear; I took my first 10 mile bike ride today. Heavenly. The new leaves are out on all the trees (the lighter green, temporary ones that fall off and are replaced by darker ones). My garden is colored like a box of Jordan Almonds. Too bad you can’t eat tulips!

4) Ben’s birthday party is Sunday. We have rented a moonbounce with a slide. We are trying to figure out what the cake should be…

6 comments

Our boys are so innocent aren’t they? Such a sense of wonder i get and worry all at once.

Dreadlocks? Whoa!

Yes, spring is here and not a moment too soon 🙂

Good to see you back.

— added by Someone Said on Thursday, May 3, 2007 at 8:16 pm

I live in Boulder Colorado and half of the kids in High school have “dreds”. I think it is way cool. betterthan going goth….

— added by Anonymous on Thursday, May 3, 2007 at 9:49 pm

Dreds? Awesome! Does he know how to use the beeswax to get them just so?

Will you PLEASE post pix of the cake? I LOVE your cake art!

— added by Drama Mama on Friday, May 4, 2007 at 12:48 am

Frankly, I would rather see a kid in dreadlocks than with a shaved head. Both of my older boys shave their heads and I hate it. I try not to show it because I don’t want them doing it just to spite me, but my one son looks like Uncle Fester.

I am glad to see that you wrote again. I know it’s hard, but I look forward to your blog a lot and wanted you to know that. I have an IEP meeting this morning. I dread them.

— added by Mom on Friday, May 4, 2007 at 8:22 am

Great to hear about Nat! And Happy Birthday Ben! Max and dreads – at least they aren’t permanent ;o)

— added by Jen on Friday, May 4, 2007 at 8:43 am

Dreds are awesome, I always wanted to get some when in college, but was too concerned about how my conservative boss would take it. I wish I had said down w/ the man and done it anyways. You’ll have to show us how cool he looks afterwards. You are an awesome mom for picking the battles that really matter!

We had an IEP meeting between our clients and a school that lasted a few weeks and several sessions (total: 17 hours). Was NOT fun.

Welcome back, it’s so good to see you… one day hiatus was much too long. 🙂

— added by I Wax Poetic on Friday, May 4, 2007 at 2:13 pm

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