Susan Senator

I thought of this while I was digging in a frenzy through my bag for a piece of gum…

(Sung to the tune of Eric Clapton’s Old Love)

I can feel your tiny body
When I’m rooting through my bag
There’s too much craving going on
And my metabolism’s a drag

And it’s making me so hungry
To know that your mint will always burn
I ain’t never gonna stop blowing bubbles
No, now, always yearn, always yearn

For Old gum —
even tho I’m grown
Old gum, old gum
Tastes like a stone

I can feel your sweetness
Though I know it’s not real
Just an illusion
Caused by Splenda and orange peel

And it makes me so hungry
I love that your mint, it always burns
When will I stop blowing bubbles
Will I always yearn?

For Old gum
Old gum —
[AWESOME guitar solo — watch towards the end of it where he gets so into it he is humming to himself, totally lost in the music. At the end of the piece, your gum is probably dead, so spit it out and get a delicious fresh, bouncy piece]

Oh, this guy still does it for me, probably because he looks like a brown-haired Ned… that smile! Oh, be still, my heart.