Susan's Blog: Residential Thoughts

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Residential Thoughts

I'm sorry, darling.
I wish that my egg had not had that crack--
And yet that gave us you.
I wish that my brain knew exactly what to do
With everything that has made you struggle
I wish that my patience had been deeper, thicker, bouncier
So that I would have never yelled hurtful things at you
But I would have simply rolled with it all
I wish that my bank account had been endless
So that I could have bought all the help you needed,
I needed.
And that my days had been long enough to do it all.
I wish for us more time
And yet, I need it to be the way it is.
And I'm so sorry

But -- if it had all been different,
Then so, my dear. would you.
posted at 8:47 AM  # permalink

Could have been titled, "Parental Thoughts". We all struggle with the same issues in your beautifully written essay.
— added by Anonymous Anonymous at 10:29 AM, March 05, 2008  
The patience line hits me hard. You think you're alone out there, but no, you show otherwise. Thank you.
— added by Blogger The Guy You Thought Was Rude at 12:10 PM, March 05, 2008  
Susan, you read my mind. I'm having a particularly hard time lately, since the new baby arrived. I am not the mom I want to be, that I need to be. I spend my days being frustrated, angry, and utterly bewildered at my failures as a mother to my beloved first son. This post really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing it.
— added by Anonymous ASDmomNC at 9:03 AM, March 07, 2008  

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