The other day I was talking to someone who wants to work with an autistic boy. I loved her enthusiasm and her curiosity. But then she made a starry-eyed comment about how she thinks maybe she can just “unlock” him…<\/p>\n
Then, I heard from a friend who told me that her kid’s residential school, once so in love with the boy, is now complaining about his difficulty sleeping and they are making noises about having him there less often…<\/p>\n
What’s wrong with this picture? Professionals dumping their incompetence or ignorance on the families. Professionals not understanding what their responsibilities are, who their charges are.<\/p>\n
First, let me say that just about every person I have ever encountered who has gone into autism education is an idealistic, bright, competent, loving person. I am eternally grateful to: Debbie, Nyemade, Abby, Teresa, Renee, Jay, Dr. W, Dr. B, Dr. K, Dr. M, Dr. R, Stephanie, Stephanie, Jen, Megan, Maureen… to name a few!<\/p>\n
But it must be said that people who go into a profession like teaching need to be aware of their motives and of the possible disappointments. Like anything else, if one’s expectations are too high, or somehow unrealistic, one is bound to be let down sooner or later.<\/p>\n
I wonder what, exactly, my friend’s kid’s school thought they were undertaking when they set up a residential home for autistic kids? Did they expect a monolithic group whom they could subdue, guide, enlighten, or unlock? And then, lo and behold, they discover that, hey! Not all autistic kids are alike! Some even have trouble sleeping! Who knew? D’oh, why didn’t anyone tell me?<\/p>\n
Seriously, if unlocking is the purpose, then I have a problem with that. Must I say it? Okay: these guys are just people, with unique challenges and personalities, and a school or teacher needs to be willing to get to know them on their terms. Going at a person with a metaphorical key in your hand sounds almost like a violation to me. If my therapist thought, “I am getting closer to unlocking Susan,” I would dump her. Who the hell is she to think she can unlock me? She can tease apart some of my issues, but I am my own keyholder. Some things can stay locked up, know what I mean? My choice.<\/p>\n