Here is something a reader sent me, that we both thought was an interesting point of debate:<\/p>\n
“…the last 20 minutes of Oprah the other day when Jenny McCarthy and Holly Robinson Peete were on discussing their children with autism. Holly Robinson Peete made a specific point of saying that saying your child was ‘autistic’ was offensive…they ‘have autism.'” <\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I feel like although I truly understand Ms. Robinson Peete wanting to have control over how people talk about her child, I disagree. Maybe she herself wants to titrate the label down to perfect accuracy so that people truly understand about her son. I can’t blame her for that.<\/p>\n
And yet, I don’t think she is right that the term “autistic” is offensive. I think that kind of slur will occur later, when more people are aware of autism, like what has happened with the term “mental retardation.”<\/p>\n
This cultural difference is why saying “autistic” is not offensive. I also believe offense has to do with intent. I don’t believe it actually always matters what<\/span> you call someone, it’s how<\/span> you call someone. Or why. If your intent is to single out and put down, or characterize someone by just that one label, then I might be annoyed. Sometimes it matters. It depends on the context and the cultural view of the concept.<\/p>\n
I know that in this forum I have made the point that calling someone “A Retard” is offensive, and that is because you are making cognitive disability, a.k.a mental retardation, into an insult by your tone and intent. Mental retardation is not an insult, although I certainly ran away from the concept as Nat was growing up. But that again was not because there is something inherently bad about MR; it was because of how others treat you as just this one thing, and perhaps dismiss or marginalize you. It is offensive if by calling someone that you are limiting their potential, cutting off possibilities.<\/p>\n
These days you might hear me say, “Nat tests at a retarded level.” I may have even said, “Nat tests retarded.” This usage is shorthand for discussing Nat’s test scores, which have now become important as we immerse ourselves into the murky swamp of Adult Services with the Department of — yes, that’s right — Mental Retardation. I don’t think you would ever hear me say, “Nat is retarded,” and you would never hear me say that someone is “A Retard,” because that has become pejorative. That word, “retarded,” has come to have a stigmatizing meaning, because of all the people who use it to put down someone else. (As in when “Heyah in Massachusetts we don’t drive in that retahd mode,” was shouted angrily at my brother-in-law once on the Mass Pike.) No, I don’t think people are yet using “autistic” to insult another person. Although I do find myself thinking, “stupid Neurotypicals,” when I see how difficult the world has made something for Nat.<\/p>\n
It’s also about your own comfort level with the concepts. Some people are uncomfortable with the Jewish thing, and they cannot bring themselves to say, “Jews.” Instead, they say, “Jewish people,” or the strange, “those of the Jewish Persuasion.” How about “Jewish Blood?” What, does my blood taste more like bagels or something? Does it look blue and white, like the flag of Israel? No, it is the same Christmas red as anyone else’s. So I don’t get it. But if Ms. Robinson Peete has her way, maybe people will be afraid to say anybody is anything. Which reminds me of an interesting example. I know an autistic young man who can’t bear for anyone to say to him, “You’re not…” One inaccurate designation will ruin S’s entire day.<\/p>\n
What’s next? Soon people will start to say, “Those who have Judaism,” rather than “Those who are Jewish.” Dayenu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Here is something a reader sent me, that we both thought was an interesting point of debate: “…the last 20 minutes of Oprah the other day when Jenny McCarthy and Holly Robinson Peete were on discussing their children with autism. Holly Robinson Peete made a specific point of saying that saying your child was ‘autistic’ […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-803","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pSTth-cX","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/803","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=803"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/803\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=803"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=803"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=803"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}