What age are we really? I find that I am happy to feel like a forty-something, but that I often do not. I feel like a make-believe adult at times, like I’m kind of pretending to be a grown-up, and I hope no one discovers my secret! Today when I worked out Max’s day with him, I found myself feeling this way. He asked me for money and I said, “Yeah, I have some, in my wallet. You can go and get it.”<\/p>\n
He came back and I said, “So did I have money?” I felt kind of like a little girl saying, “Can I have some munny?” Why didn’t I even know if I had cash? What kind of adult carries no cash with her? A pretend adult. Max looked at me but his expression was blank. What was he thinking? Was he wondering why he didn’t have a real mother, like everyone else?<\/p>\n
Maybe some of this is because Max and Nat are just so old. They tower over me. Did these men actually once sleep curled up in my arms? I look at their faces, I stare into their eyes looking for those babies. Where did they go?<\/p>\n
I totally enjoy my relationships with my kids, but that is not the point here. I do wonder why I feel so young so often. And how I love it when I feel comfortable in my 44 year old skin, and sure of myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What age are we really? I find that I am happy to feel like a forty-something, but that I often do not. I feel like a make-believe adult at times, like I’m kind of pretending to be a grown-up, and I hope no one discovers my secret! Today when I worked out Max’s day with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pSTth-db","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/817","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=817"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/817\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=817"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=817"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=817"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}