{"id":910,"date":"2007-06-03T17:42:00","date_gmt":"2007-06-03T17:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog2\/2007\/06\/a-really-crappy-day\/"},"modified":"2007-06-03T17:42:00","modified_gmt":"2007-06-03T17:42:00","slug":"a-really-crappy-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/2007\/06\/a-really-crappy-day\/","title":{"rendered":"A Really Crappy Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

Slaughtered, gutted and heartbroken.<\/span>
But things could be worse.<\/span>
–Squeeze<\/span><\/p>\n

Today all I wanted to do is escape. I took two naps. I drank a ton of coffee, but no buzz was to be found. I ate all the carbs I felt like. I worked out for an hour. I busied myself with my presentations for my Sioux Falls conference this Thursday (I am going to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Augustana College’s conference, to be their keynote.) I got Ben a favorite playdate. I made them good healthy lunches. I figured out how Max could see John Hodgman<\/a> speak at the sold-out Brookline High School graduation. I got Nat a different version of Alice in Wonderland<\/span> and he and Ben watched together.<\/p>\n

I am making this list so that you will see that I am not an awful person. But I feel like an awful person. I had no joy today. No fun. No pleasure in the teaming life surrounding me. I am worried about Nat. He is still having growly tantrums just about every day. Out of the blue. Or sometimes not out of the blue, but because we simply cannot stick to routines he would like us to. The front door must stay closed at all times, even when it is sweltering out. No one should sleep past 6:30 a.m, especially on Saturday and Sunday. All laundries must be done and put away. All dishes out of the sink. Everyone must eat lunch at the same time. Mommy and Daddy cannot go out at night.<\/p>\n

But I need to go out. I need to be alone with Ned. I feel like I’m in prison again. I don’t know how to help Nat feel better and I feel like I can’t leave. Ever. Even when I do, I hold my stupid cell phone in my sweaty hand and check, check, check, afraid that whoever is left at home with Nat is going to need my help. I am so worried about going away to South Dakota Wednesday night. Will Ned feel overwhelmed? Will Nat be unhappy and inconsolable? He got that way when I went to Town Meeting last week. Town Meeting only lasts like 4 hours. <\/p>\n

What happens to other people who feel they can never leave their homes or their kids? What happens when it is only the husband and wife who feel they can manage their child? What do single parents do when it gets like this?<\/p>\n

They end up feeling like they have to take two naps a day and eat themselves into oblivion. They look at their spouses and think about sex but it seems like a distant dream. They feel weighted down, leaden, gray, shriveled, cold, sour, finished.<\/p>\n

Flush this day right down the toilet! Where’s my bed?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Slaughtered, gutted and heartbroken.But things could be worse.–Squeeze Today all I wanted to do is escape. I took two naps. I drank a ton of coffee, but no buzz was to be found. I ate all the carbs I felt like. I worked out for an hour. I busied myself with my presentations for my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-910","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pSTth-eG","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/910","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=910"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/910\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=910"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=910"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susansenator.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=910"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}