Susan Senator
All happy families are not alike...
All happy families are not alike...
Adolescence without a Roadmap
Check out the Modern Love column in today’s NY Times Sunday Styles. It is written by Claire Scovell LaZebnik, the author of Overcoming Autism, about adolescence and autism — and love. Although personally my thing is more “making peace” with autism than “overcoming” it, (I have to admit that I am green with jealousy that Ms. LaZebnik got there first — I had sent Modern Love something a couple of months ago), it is a marvelously written, moving piece.
LaZebnik says, “Our son was a little boy with autism. Now he’s a teenager with autism — noticing girls.” I hear that. My son may notice girls, I don’t know. I know he notices breasts. He once saw a busty woman at our library and told my husband, “Want to pinch private parts at the Library.” To his credit, he did not — probably because Ned quickly placed himself in between Nat and the young woman.
What is more poignant? A teenage boy so hampered by neurology that he doesn’t realize what his body’s signals are? Or a teenage boy who knows what’s going on and completely fumbles at following through? Is it harder to be looking through the glass, unable to open the door, or harder to feel that there is something out there that is wonderful, and to be aware of missing out on something — but what?
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My 17-year-old, who is generally considered fairly “high-functioning” (and very verbal) but is completely inept socially is determined to have a girlfriend. This is leading to all kinds of problems at school, where he is doing some benign stalking. Of course girls are fleeing in all directions. It is really heartbreaking. I wish I could find someone else in the same boat to talk about it with.
My 17-year-old, who is generally considered fairly “high-functioning” (and very verbal) but is completely inept socially is determined to have a girlfriend. This is leading to all kinds of problems at school, where he is doing some benign stalking. Of course girls are fleeing in all directions. It is really heartbreaking. I wish I could find someone else in the same boat to talk about it with.