Susan Senator

My ups, my ups, my lovely lady ups.
–Black Eyed Me’s

Glorious day, through and through. Which probably means tomorrow I will plummet, but why should that stop me from blogging/bragging about all I accomplished? From grokking Nathaniel to finding a new BD teacher to adding three pages to my novel, I am in The Zone. I am Susan Lilia Natasha Shoshana Delilah, hear me roar.

I told Nat’s teachers that I believe the “pestering” questions were his attempts to engage, converse, and find out about the world. I told them I would treat them as teaching opportunities. For example, when he asks again and again about why I did not yet put the fish in the oven, I can now say, “Daddy is not coming home until 7. The fish will dry out if it cooks that long.”
“Daddy is coming home at 7.”
“That’s right, Darling. And the fish will go in at quarter of seven.”
“Yes.” And he walks away, only to return a few minutes later to check on the fish.
Well, it is not how I would spend the hour before dinner, but it is Nat’s way. So fucking what? Why should I answer only once and then redirect? There is nothing interesting enough to compete with me cooking dinner! I understand why they do that at school; it would be extremely difficult to continue to engage in that way all day long, with all the other things he has to do in a day and all the other students and their needs. But at home? What the heck do I have to do except massage curry into some greasy fish and stare at the clock and wonder why the F Ned can’t ever JUST LEAVE AT 5:45 when he says he’s going to? So, yes, I can answer questions about fish prep and table setting and Max in his room and my computer being open a couple or hundred times. No, it is not interesting, and no, it is not easy, but that is what my boy needs. Definition of mother: help your children get their needs met. Among other things.

What else happened that was good? And the above was good, believe me; animated does not equal upset in my little world. I went to Staples and did not pass out from annoyance. I found what I needed to find in under thirty minutes and did not even have to pay for parking.

I got Little B to do his 8th journal entry. Only two more to go (school starts for him on Thursday).

I walked with Ruth and Maggie; lots of fun.

I picked up the mail that had been held during all my vacation and there was nothing that bugged me in that pile. No horrible back-to-school deadlines that I missed. No late bills.

I found a bellydance teacher for the fall, who teaches nearby and seems to have years and years of experience, particularly in Egyptian style. Hooray! zaghareet! Also, her class is after dinner, so I won’t have to try to get Ned to come home at 6, which, if you read the above, you will know never really happens. (I’m not mad; he works 50 minutes away, for God’s sake. Every since they were acquired by Hewlett Packard, God bless them, he has had this God awful commute. He used to work in Cambridge! The coolest of cool places. But still, HP — ! Should stand for “Happy Purchasing”)

And, joy of joys, I had an idea of something I had to add to my main character’s character. You see, she is a realtor and I thought of a way to fill her career in a little. She is someone who visualizes better living spaces for her potential buyers and that’s how she closes the sales. So I get to describe some amazing homes I’ve made up, and also how she would change them. Total indulgent writing. Plus she is very funny, so you read her thoughts the whole time. She sounds like me sometimes, but remember, ’tis fiction.

Decorating is one of my “closet” professions. I would have done that if I worked like a normal person.

What it all adds up to is not what I’ve written down here. This day is greater than the sum of the parts. It is a feeling of certainty that I was blessed with today. A feeling of being centered, in balance, and that I fit right where I am. Wonderful.