Susan's Blog

Monday, November 5, 2007

Wanted: 15 extra minutes/better world

That’s all I’m asking for. I need those 15 minutes on Wednesdays so I can get Ben home from therapy with a few minutes’ buffer before Nat gets home from school. Lately the driver had been bringing Nat home at 3:45, getting him 15 minutes late from school, and this had worked out perfectly for Ben and me. Prior to that, Ben had been getting very anxious about going to therapy, because he was afraid we’d be home late for Nat and Nat would have a tantrum in the bus if I was not there.

The school administration seems pissed off now because I did the 15-minute buffer thing. So now I have to go back to the 3:30 drop-off, and find a way to appease both Ben and Nat. I think I am about to hire a young man studying to be a physical therapist to come and work with Nat as a buddy. Maybe he can get to our house at 3:30 and bring Nat inside, before I get home with Ben. But then, of course, I’ll be stressed worrying that the new helper won’t be able to handle Nat on his own.

Where’s Max in all this? Off with his friends. That’s as it should be. Yes, I could ask him to do this for me, but actually he gets scared by Nat’s tantrums, as big as he is. It isn’t about size. It’s about not knowing what, exactly, to do. It is upsetting for everyone. I don’t want that for Max.

So in this game of who has to pay for it, who has to take the punch, it will always be me, because I’m the mother. I’m the one who gives the biggest shit, so they’ve got me by the balls, and believe me, I’ve got huge metaphorical ones. Yeah, I’m pissed. I need a more understanding world; anyone know where I can find one?

5 comments

You say it so well. We are constantly juggling and trying to do the best for our kids.

— added by Anonymous on Monday, November 5, 2007 at 12:41 pm

So damn complicated it all is …

Wish I could fix it .. 🙁

— added by autismville on Monday, November 5, 2007 at 2:14 pm

Buffer zones and transitions for everyone – me too please!
Cheers

— added by Maddy on Monday, November 5, 2007 at 2:15 pm

Afraid I’m not much help here, either. We’re on the hunt for the same thing. If I stumble upon it I PROMISE I’ll share!

Hope the buddy works out if you go that route.

— added by Niksmom on Tuesday, November 6, 2007 at 8:19 am

Moms deserve transition time as well. 15 minutes once a week to keep anxiety low? I’d have to go back to the school and encourage them to work with me, unless of course that is an exercise in head-banging futility. You know best.

Thomas is starting to show signs of frustration with Jared. At 6, Thomas is learning to control his own behavior and impulses, and when Jared’s behavior cancels a trip to the playground – he’s disappointed, okay he’s pissed. I’m thinking it might be time to get some books, look into some sibling groups. Any suggestions, advice?

— added by Lisa on Tuesday, November 6, 2007 at 9:57 am

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