Susan Senator

Sometimes, that which is old can become new again. And sometimes, that which is old is just plain old. Today, as in most weekends for the last six months or so, Nat became very anxious because of a neighbor’s outdoor light being on, and Max and Ben still not down for breakfast. The yelling and the vicious arm-biting ensued, but I tamped down my natural responses of fear, sadness, and worry to present Nat with the much-vaunted neutral bearing of the positive reinforcer.

True to my ABA rearing, (the positive reinforcement of little steps that lead up to one larger goal. In this case, staying calm in the face of great anxiety. This is not a great strategy for teaching many kinds of skills, such as those involving conversation, or the joy of socializing; however, like many educational approaches, ABA has its uses, in terms of teaching more concrete skills where the teacher’s expectation is a clear and obvious one that can be easily rewarded and encouraged.) I offered a bland, emotion-free schedule of what was and would be going on, with no accommodating his demands, which are — let’s face it — a little bit unreasonable. The sooner one learns that one cannot control too well what others do, the easier ones life will be, no? E.g., Max and Ben should be able to sleep late and eat when they want on their days off from school; my neighbor cannot always be expected to shut off her light at daybreak:

Nat ate breakfast
Mom and Dad ate breakfasts
SOON Max and Ben will come down and eat.

Nat can sit on the couch and watch a movie.
The outdoor light is on and will be off later.

Upon reading that schedule, Nat said, “Noooooooo,” and scratched it out with a pen!

It is the end of a era. Our Nat Book Propaganda no longer works! Hallelujah! Or help!