Susan's Blog

Sunday, September 7, 2008


I ask my God who gives us light
What is wrong and what is right
What to do about Baby Delight
Keep him there beyond my sight
Or bring him back and hold him tight
Is he learning more, day and night —
Will it make his future more bright?
Or is it kind of a lie that’s white
Though guilt may claw and grief does bite
But here or there — let go or fight?


Your son has done the hardest part of separation which is the first few days and nights. Were that to be undone it would be needlessly confusing for him and harder than ever if he were to move again.

There is no white lie here, the proof is in the feedback you’ve been receiving and in your son’s own words.

Hang in there and it is easy for me to say.

(Your) Anon

— added by Anonymous on Sunday, September 7, 2008 at 4:44 pm

(My) Anon –
I really, really do not know if you are right. I have a lot of work to do with the House.

Who are you? Why don’t you sign with your name, if you always say kind, supportive things like this?

— added by Susan Senator on Sunday, September 7, 2008 at 5:48 pm

I think that if it isn’t right
You both will know, as sure as night
does follow day, if dull or bright.
It takes some time, and if you fight
before he has the chance to right
Himself in this new, grown-up light,
You may get back your heart’s delight
And keep him ever in your sight
But who can ever know what’s right
When sons or daughters first take flight?

— added by Julie on Sunday, September 7, 2008 at 8:37 pm

It’s none of my business, but what is Ned’s take on this? I know from my experience that Dad’s see things differently….


— added by Anonymous on Monday, September 8, 2008 at 6:59 am

I may have said this before, but I think you and Ned are giving Nat the most significant gift possible – Nat is getting a chance to learn to cope outside your loving home. The feedback you get from the staff is encouraging, first because he’s doing so well, and secondly, because they are so detailed in their comments and game plan. (You may remember my consternation that Jared’s pre-Katrina teacher kept referring to the autistic as artistic.)

Your feelings are valid, understandable and part of what makes you such a great mom. Your dedication to Nat, and all the boys, is iron-clad. You will fight for your son whether he is under your roof or not. Not knowing if he is shattered by the move must wrench your heart, but if Nat can succeed in this new scenario, his world opens exponentially.

Buck up Susan, and hang tough. If that doesn’t work, I prescribe the usual chocolate, dancing and a cocktail at a socially acceptable hour. (ie:during hurricane evacuation there is no socially unacceptable hour)


— added by Anonymous on Monday, September 8, 2008 at 2:55 pm

Since Susie asked:

My feeling is that the shift from our home to the “school home” is a big one, and will take a while for Nat to get used to, certainly more than the 6 weeks he’s had so far.

It’s a big change for all of us, and we all need to give ourselves time to get used to it. Certainly there will be rough parts, but our goal is for him to live outside his childhood home at some point, so we need to help him learn how, and it might as well be now.

I miss him, but I also am enjoying the simpler home life we’ve been having the past few weeks. It’s too bad there has to be a tradeoff like that, but I know the school home is a good environment for him however foreign it seems to us compared to here.

–Ned (Dad).

— added by Ned on Monday, September 8, 2008 at 7:36 pm

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