Susan's Blog

Saturday, October 31, 2009

What, Me Worry?

I spend so much time thinking about autism; studying it like a college course. I give talks and travel all over the place expounding on autism. The last few days I was in Washington serving on a panel alongside scientists, reviewing autism research grants. The cerebellum was working overtime. Autismautismautismautismautismautismautismautismautimsautismupthewazoo.

I was asked over and over again, what, among other things, ist my plan for Nat when Ned and I are old and unable to care for him (or dead). I always say, “My plan is not to die.” That is not much of a plan. So I spend a lot of time talking to people and programs and agencies about what we’re supposed to do when he’s older.

It’s a lot to worry about. I have spent a lot of his life worrying and planning. Shoot.

This morning as I was running around collecting odds and ends for boys’ costumes, I realized I was having a lot of fun — with and because of my boys. I had to take B to TJ Maxx to get some brown socks to cut up (he was going as Link and needed stuff like brown gauntlets — let me tell you, I know a lot about gauntlets; they are a necessary part of the bellydance cossie:)

So we cut up socks, pinned on his hat, belted his tunic. Nat, on the other hand, was Aladdin — as Prince Ali. Max was a Jedi Wizard. All made out of stuff we had, some of it years old.

I suddenly thought how so much of my autism parenting is planning and worry. So much of my parenting in general is. Baby days. Preschool. Elementary school. Bullies. Tough homework. High school. Girlfriends. College. Independent living. It’s the job description.

But tonight it was just wrapping boys up in ugly old shmatahs and sneaking candy.

Look at my three goofballs. There, nothing to worry about. Except — gotta go through the candy, make sure they are careful crossing the street, …


Both of mine had a blast last night. Daddy took them out, he does every year.

Little boy started figuring out b-days, Xmas, hallowe'en last year at 7.

This year…. he's just wound.

Informed me last night that the next month was December and that there was no November this year (floored me). Why – his birthday.

Now if I could only shake this headcold… UGH!!!

— added by farmwifetwo on Sunday, November 1, 2009 at 7:40 am

Oh, I feel you babe. So much.

— added by Judith U. on Sunday, November 1, 2009 at 8:32 am

what did you say something?

You are so right about worrying. Then about being able to let go and have fun… if only for a minute.

Love the photo!

— added by Brenda on Sunday, November 1, 2009 at 11:44 am

We had 3 Links over here.

Happy Halloween.

— added by Renegade Scholar on Sunday, November 1, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Three goofballs? We've got four in our house. One of them is me! Keep up the good work…you're a great Mom 🙂

— added by Candy on Monday, November 2, 2009 at 10:19 am

Candy and costumes make everyone NT!

— added by toadysmom on Monday, November 2, 2009 at 3:01 pm

I completely understand. I also have three children that I get to worry about. It is so nice sometimes just to let go and have fun with them. Thanks for your post! Happy Halloween.

— added by Chris on Monday, November 2, 2009 at 5:03 pm

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