Susan's Blog

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Phone Call

I’m up at 5am because I had a dream, though I can’t quite remember it.  I noticed the phone was flashing, as it does when there’s been a call.  I pressed the buttons to see who had called and I saw that Nat’s House was on there, at 12am.  What did that mean?  I called them, and an overnight staff person answered.  He told me that no one called and that everything was alright.

I was embarrassed, so I hung up.  I don’t know what this means.  Why would there be this mistake?

No reason, I guess.  But of course the thought flashed through my head that this was some sort of Sign.  My 5am brain was tormenting me with the “what if it were Nat calling to tell me something?”  And now, as the sky is starting to blue up, I realize that my brain is tired, there was a phone glitch.  But it occurs to me also there’s something here to acknowledge, something of a wish in there, because it would mean that Nat had reached out to tell me something, period.  I want him to be okay, happy, healthy.  But — there it is:  that old old ghost, reminding me that I may just want more than that.

6 comments

I hear you on this one. I have just reconciled myself to the fact that I’ll always want more for and from Justin, even if he’s happy. I hope you were able to get back to sleep!

— added by kim mccafferty on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 10:50 am

I get it. Has nothing to do with the status of your son…has to do with mothers and sons who are growing up and away as they should. When the phone rings late at night first I pray its nothing bad and then I hope it is David. He’s 26 and I still ache to hear his voice even if he is asking for $$ again. I can say no quite well but the conversation and his sales-pitch are always wonderful. Don’t be embarrassed my dear, enjoy the fact that you are a mother and you always will be. Granted with Nat the reaching out is an “add on” but just remember you have the thrill of going through this with all three of your gentlemen. I love you lots….

— added by Marcia Heist on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 1:35 pm

nothing wrong with THAT…

— added by Timmy's Mom on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Hey Susan,
Or – Nat was calling you… why not believe that? He was reaching out to tell you something.
Last year, at 2am, I got a call from the police – asking what my 911 emergency was – ‘what? no emergency!’… I had fallen asleep on the couch downstairs. Ethan got up and got to the phone in my room. E is my non-verbal, very delayed little boy w/ autism… he managed to hit the right button to turn the phone on, dialed 911, waited for them to answer and then hit the button to HANG UP THE PHONE! I was amazed! Police had to come by the house to make sure all was okay. BUT – I was shocked and amazed. I think Ethan did it because he couldn’t make noise to wake me, and he wanted me upstairs. I ended up keeping him in my room and holding him the rest of the night – he fell asleep with a beautiful smile across his face.

— added by Linda Foley on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 11:54 pm

Hi Susan,
Have the house teach Nat to memorize and learn how to dial your number. Arrange to be home when he calls…that way he’ll get the whole sequence. If he enjoys doing this, he may decide to call you spontaneously some time 🙂
-Candy

— added by Candy on Friday, July 30, 2010 at 11:14 pm

Hi Candy –
Yeah, he does have us memorized and always calls at night around dinner time. It’s been part of our routine for the last two years, and it works very well. What made this unusual was that it was at 12 am! –S

— added by Susan Senator on Saturday, July 31, 2010 at 6:39 am

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