Susan Senator
All happy families are not alike...
All happy families are not alike...
The Ten Commandments of Autism
1. Thou Shalt Love Your Child No Matter What (I am That I am)
2. Thou Shalt Not Worship The False Prophets of Autism (No False Idols)
3. Though Shalt Not Make False Promises or Claims To Others About a Cure (Thou Shalt Not Lie)
4. Remember a Happy Day and Keep it Holy (Remember The Sabbath)
5. Honor The Mother and Father — Thine Teachers and Doctors Must Honor You, the Parents, and Vice Versa
6. Thou Shalt Not Hurt Your Child With Unproven Therapies (Do No Harm)
7. Thou Shalt Respect Your Child’s Rights To Privacy and All Self-Expression that is Non-Injurious (Protect Their Sexuality, Physicality)
8. Thou Shalt Not Claim that Autism Has Stolen Your Child (Thou Shalt Not Steal)
9. Thou Shalt Not Speak Ill of Other Autism Parents (Don’t Be Part of the Problem)
10. Thou Shalt Not Wish For What You Think Another Family Has; Thou Shalt Not Compare Children (Thou Shalt Not Covet)
And remember, that just as The Old Testament, otherwise known as The Torah, the Jewish Bible, says that there are actually 613 Commandments — so there’s way more where that comes from. Also, interestingly enough, the Commandments are also referred to as the Mitzvot, or The Blessings. Think about it.
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Food for thought!
I have the hardest time with number ten!
Amen!
Trying to incorporate #4 daily…
#9 and #10 are the toughies. Nothing is worse than getting a diagnosis of autism (as if that isn’t terrifying enough) to see another parent in the same situation with tons of resources (money) going to clinics, travelling to see the “best” doctors, hiring ABA therapists to work one-on-one with their child, enrolling their kid in an expensive, tutition based “autism school” while you are lucky to get some speech therapy and whatever time a teacher’s aide can give. Or, have that parent say to you “You mean you don’t have Matthew doing” (fill in the blank). “I can’t believe you’re not doing,” blah, blah. Likewise, seeing another kid go through Applied Behavorial Anaylsis or whatever program and have it “take” while you’re (me) still trying to get your child to stop staring at ceiling fans is incredibly painful. I’ve experienced all these situations and felt the pain which is why we need to be tactful and kind when talking with “new” autism parents and not judgmental.
Yes, #10. Every time I compare us or wish things were different something reminds me that we are fine the way we are.
Molly
Amen!
[…] Nothing is worse than getting a diagnosis of autism (as if that isn’t terrifying enough) to see another parent in the same situation with tons of resources (money) going to clinics, travelling to see the “best” doctors, hiring ABA therapists to work one-on-one with their child, enrolling their kid in an expensive, tutition based “autism school” while you are lucky to get some therapy on whatever it is that you can afford. To hear a parent say to you “You mean you don’t have what my child is doing?” (fill in the blank). “I can’t believe you’re not doing this. I don’t think you are not doing enough for your child. Likewise, seeing another kid go through Applied Behavorial Anaylsis or whatever program and have it “take” while you’re (me) still trying to get your child to stop grabbing or doing a stim and explaining to everyone is incredibly painful. I’ve experienced all these situations and felt the pain which is why we need to be tactful and kind when talking with “new” autism parents and not judgmental. I really think that this is worth sharing..Got this from here […]
I’m looking at #10 and thinking, “But I compared my kids to someone else’s — and boy, was I glad it wasn’t weekly trips to the ER for kids who alternated having breathing problems.” She was probably similarly glad that she didn’t have my particular set of problems — but I was accepting of what I had on my plate and grateful that it wasn’t something else.
(I could have done without the massive meltdowns today, but, looking back, yeah, it wasn’t as bad as a trip to the ER.)