Susan Senator

This post is me in my most natural state: jumping from topic to topic, attentionally challenged. That is because I need to be doing a million things at once sometimes, and other times, there is nothing at all to do. I am always hoping for balance, but I rarely achieve it. When I find something I really like to do or think about, I do it and do it until I am sick to death of it. Same thing with something I hate. I think about it and think about it until I am so depressed I have to rip someone’s face off or go to sleep. It is good for me to get away frequently, so I can have some space.

I’m going to Wisconsin Friday night, for a Saturday morning keynote. This is the last of the Big Three I had in terms of travel. I have some other events coming up, but they are easy to get to. I’m trying to get everything done so that it isn’t difficult for Ned, but it still will be. It means I have to keep up with the laundries and the food, and try to have everything on hand so that he can make lunches easily. The beds and the vacuuming will have to wait. I am really behind in that and it makes me feel uptight. I don’t sleep as well when my pillowcase isn’t fresh; I think I have dust allergies.

[Yesterday was the first day we turned on the heat. That makes a difference in terms of dust, too. Ben and I both woke up congested; mine in my nose, his in his chest. He barked a little but I gave him hot chocolate, which cures most things when you’re under 40. (Over 40 it works, too, but you pay metabolically.)]

[Speaking of under 40, I was invited to a party called, “1001 International Nights,” because I now belong to a belly dance meetup group. This party is at a club downtown, and there will be all kinds of dancing. I emailed the guy who is organizing it and asked him if there would be anyone over 30 there; he said, “Sure, a few of the organizers are over 30. The range is usually 21 – 35.” So do I dare go? I go, if I can get a friend to go with me… (I can’t bring Ned; I just can’t see it, him in his Gap jeans, Tabblo tee shirt…) We’ll see, we’ll see. I want to do so much belly dance. It’s like all I want to do. I can’t always just do it alone; I’m already sick of my music. I need new music, and a new hip scarf, not to mention how I’d like a coin bra and other things. My costume should be here any day (Ned bought it for me). I can’t wait to have it. I need more instruction, though, so that I have a really full routine, something I can do for 20+ minutes. I have perfected the chest circle and the five different shimmies. My favorite move is called the “Maya,” which is a reverse hip figure eight (an eight that is parallel to the floor). It really looks like a belly dance move. I find that I have less range of motion on my left side, so I have to practice rotating my left thigh a lot more. That is not the injured side, thank God. I have a new belly dance friend, another mom at the school, and we always see each other on the playground after school and talk belly dance. It is so much fun. I want to get really good at it and maybe teach it to my friends, or even perform a little sometime. There are contests, and I will enter one when I feel ready.

I’m also trying to stay on a schedule for working out, so that it doesn’t matter if I miss it on Friday and Saturday (when I’ll be away). So I went to my healthclub again today, loved it again. I always see lots of people I know there, which is nice, and I did get into that lovely hot tub, too. Tried a eucalyptus steam, for my pores. They look the same. Ruth and I have massages scheduled there for Wednesday, after the belly dance class.

Other things I’m thinking about today: I worked a ton on my novel yesterday. Read the entire thing over the weekend, and it flew! A good sign. Maybe I just needed some space from it. I gave some of it to Manic Mom, who is a writer, and to my friend Tim to read and also some to Mom and Dad, and Guy…Rude, who reads a lot. Guy had a lot to say that was helpful, so I pumped those thoughts right into the draft. Laura, Emily, Susie, and Dori have already read it, and Beth has already read some. I’m getting ready to send it to my agent, who is a dear, and tells me I gotta be me, and that I can still write what I want and make it marketable, n’est-ce pas?

Also did some homework with Nat, a new thing. He is so sweet, so here, and talking more all the time, though not a lot, but more easily. He is joy on legs. This homework was too easy for him: word searches and stuff.

Ben had a playdate, one of his favorites, Chris. They played solidly and yet it was not hard to get Chris to leave, which is sometimes the case. Benj is going gangsta lately, wearing a knit skull cap, long tee shirt and baggy pants. Ultra cute. Uh, sorry, I mean, cool.

Max is not home yet, as usual (almost 5 p.m.). He goes to Yaz’s house because Yaz does not have a laptop, but Max does, so they are all geeked up together over there. The Star Wars light saber has been out on the coffee table, so there must be a discussion of a movie or Halloween going on. I still can connect with Max often, usually over humor. He showed me a funny list, of items that “did not make it onto Wikipedia.” Really funny, random stuff. I am so proud of his sense of humor; he is truly the best of Ned and me.

And where, oh where is Ned in all this? My darling, still at work for another hour, will be so happy when he comes home and smells meatballs cooking.