Susan Senator

Boredom’s in my blood
It makes me whine
It makes me bitter
Stinks like feet
Oh I could write a case of crap
Still I’d be on my seat, I would still be on my seat…
–Joni Mitchell, “Case of Crap”

My email is not being delivered!!!! I can’t stand it. It is like Precious is constipated. She keeps letting me down. I need my computer to yield up her delights to me. I am so bored. I can’t eat for fun, I ate so much for two days I fear fatness. It will creep up on me, lumping over my jeans waistband or softening up my jawline.

I also have not been reading, because my attention span is shot. Nor have I been writing, except reject after reject column. I think when I get home I will start seriously thinking about my Special Olympics book and map out a strategy for writing it. It’s going to have to involve Kennedys, which is fun but complicated.

I also have to think about how to get more speaking gigs. I love traveling to new places on my own as long as I can come back to my loved ones the next day, filled with stories and new experiences to keep me going during the dry spells of boredom (like now).

I can’t shop. I did some shopping, but not enough because money is tight. All I want is belly dance costumes and music. Also, gorgeous velvety and lacy things from Anthropologie, and some parties to wear them to. (I don’t want to have to throw a party, because I get too stressed over everyone having fun. There has never been a party I’ve thrown where I did not want to cancel it that day. I get pre-party regret.) I did go to Anthropologie, and that store is always like walking into a Prozac dream, my dream of a perfect store. (I occasionally have had dreams of a city that is kind of like Paris mixed with Philadelphia, which to me is a good thing; I love Philadelphia, it is one of our national treasures. It is an inexpensive but funky, cool, easily understood city. It is where I fell in love. It was the first city that was really mine. The city in my dreams has these wonderful Parisian/Philadelphian neighborhoods and vintage clothing shops, but an incredibly difficult-to-understand subway system, where you could almost die getting onto the train. There is also a very dangerous neighborhood just a few blocks away, with killers and rapists, and sometimes I end up there by mistake. I wake up just when I’m like surrounded by evil men. Other times there is this area with lots of big department stores, too big to get to everything. But again, the stores are phenomenal, rows and rows of interesting sweaters and shoes.)

But back here on earth, in Boringville, Nudgeticut where I grew up…
I just gave everyone lunch and I’m waiting for Ned to finish eating his turkey sandwich; he is very easy to please, easy to cook for. Just put lettuce or bacon on something and he thinks it is special. He has simple pleasures that are often easy and fun to satisfy. I have a much longer list of wants than Ned. Well, opposites attract.

Okay, this blogpost is going nowhere but like I said I have nothing to do and I want to leave!
Make suggestions to me about what I should write about. But be nice; I have no patience for mean anonymous crap, okay?