Susan Senator

Lots going on today.
I am a sick puppy.
Well, it’s just my throat. It’s very weird. I feel otherwise okay, because I slept a bunch, but my throat hurts and feels closed up. I’m thinking strep, because I had that so much as a kid that I got my tonsils out and the doc said he’s almost never seen such a huge pair of tonsils. I still got strep once more, but as an adult, a few years ago. My boys tend to get it, too. It seems to run in families; some get it, some don’t. But this feeling in my throat is awfully streppy. The only thing that gives me pause is that — thankfully — I don’t feel any other symptoms. My appetite is good and I do not feel feverish, although I did last night. It’s like when I was a teenager, and I had had a cough for months. My pediatrician finally gave me a blood test and found I had mono! I still ran track and went off to Israel anyway (btw I am really, really pissed at Jimmy Carter with that new anti-Israel/anti-semitic book of his; what the hell has gotten into him? Jimmy Cracked his Corn, you know what I mean? And I do care. What’s next, Jimmy? Revisit the Protocols of the Elders of Zion? God forbid. Maybe he and Mel Gibson will start a club!)

Anyway. Would it be wrong for me to still go to my gym just to sit and soak in that wonderful hot whirlpool? Would I make others ill, possibly? I would hate that. Ned says I shouldn’t but I am dying for a soak in that hot churning water. I’ll also be going to the doctor around lunchtime; hopefully I can pursuade him to give some antibiotics even if he doesn’t believe that I have strep. I love antibiotics; they work so quickly!

Speaking of being a Semite, I am going off to the Jewish part of town (yes, Virginia, there is such a thing in my lovely town of Brookline; I live in the relatively non-Jewish part) by which I mean there are kosher butchers, bagel bakeries, Jewish art and bookstores, lots of people who look like my grandmothers, etc. I plan on buying a corned beef and some Chanukah swag so I can get my house ready for that cute little holiday. Despite my throat feeling all closed up and hurting like a MoFo, I am going to buy some gelt (chocolate coins wrapped in gold paper) for my boys, some non-tacky decorations (good luck finding that!) and the hunk of meat for to boil. My sweet grandfather Paul Adelman, on my mother’s side used to own a delicatessen in Brooklyn, NY, and I have his recipe! It doesn’t get any more authentic that that. Maybe I’ll call it Jimmy Cracked Corn Beef, in the ex-president’s dishonor.

But seriously folks, I am psyched for Chanukah, even without a usable throat. I plan on making potato latkes, which my boys love. So nice to have a meal that they actually love! I make them with a little onion and actually my secret is to put butter in the pan, along with a little oil (you have to use oil as a nod to that famous lamp that stayed lit for eight days after the Maccabees beat the sh** out of the Assyrians, emphasis on ASS). The butter gives them an extra good flavor, trust me. Although technically I guess you are then not supposed to eat them with corned beef, that would be mixing milchig with fleischig and that is strictly verboten. Except I don’t keep Kosher; I just like buying Kosher meat, it’s a reflex, it’s how I was raised. They have to answer to both the FDA and a Higher Authority.

I will close with “Chappy Chanukah” to all of you out there, and remember to stay polite when you’re commenting; I hate nasty anonymous and I will delete you every time. I will emerge victorious against all oppressors. Chanukah is not, after all, the Festival of Slights. Call me Sue Da Maccabee.