Susan Senator

[Ben took this photo!]

Sitting here in my parents’ Cape house on their porch. They are here now, all is right in the world, thank God. They are watching a movie I’m not interested in. We are here to check teh internets, as Max would say. It has been so good for me to be without Precious, I must say. I live in the present when I’m here.

I am so proud of the boys. They are without their usual hobbies (mostly teh internets related) because our lovely rental hath no internet, and so they are forced to do other things. Max has been honing his photographic talents, and I am amazed at his beautiful eye! He loves to do insanely close close-ups of things, not people (except Benj, who is kind of a thing!) He is such a good-natured soul. He will fight you at first when it comes to doing anything different or eating anything different, but if you gently push, he will do it and usually likes it. Well, not food, but everything else.

He and Ben were watching Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, and suddenly they just shut it off and announced that they were making a movie! With Ned’s help they filmed a stop-motion frame-by-frame of Ben scooting along the grass. Tis very cute.

Ben has gone back to drawing story after story. His animation is fantastic. It’s too bad so much of his content is violent, but it is violent like Pulp Fiction; kind of cartoony violent. Is that better or worse?

In the water Ben is fearless and oblivious to the cold. He and Ned shared a boogie board today and actually rode a few waves that way. I used the board for the first time, even though the water was 58 degrees. It was so hot out that I was frying, so I didn’t mind the extreme cold of the ocean. There was fluffy, grasping seaweed everywhere, which I just hate. Plus a lot of rocks to walk over to get to the sand bar, and I cut my foot. So back to the blanket to read and work on my illicit tan.

Nat has been a little less eager to swim, even with his brand-new wetsuit. Ned kept joking that the wetsuit was defective because “it never gets wet!” Until Nat finally initiated it yesterday, when it was a balmy 60 degrees in the water. He and Ned were out for a pretty long time today. He has one very well on this vacation so far. A few outbursts, but two out of three of them were totally understandable. Today there was a brief shriek and I think it may have been an expression of discomfort with all that sun.

When they come back to the blanket from swimming, they always have to eat. I’m the designated Fooder. I make everyone have fruit first before their oreos, goldfish, and pretzels. I drink Diet Coke with Lime and one or two Atkins bars. Yes, I’m back on Atkins and the universe has righted itself again. I don’t know how you other people (carbivores) do it. Eating carbs made me crazy. All I wanted to do was eat and eat because I could never eat enough (too many calories). The only thing I could eat that I didn’t have to count was carrots! I felt like a horse. Do I want that? Neigh! I tried it for four days and by the fourth day I had eaten 1,000 calories by lunchtime — all in fruit and “non-fattening” things! I was in danger of becoming an exercise bulemic because I kept going on long, grueling bikerides or bellydancing to burn off what I ate!

Back on Atkins I am sane again. I am full after I eat, because I eat protein! Soy, turkey, eggs, cheese. I can imagine all the voices of Gerald O’Hara, Rhett Butler, and Ashley Wilkes, egging me on: “Protein, Katie Scarlett! It’s the only thing that lasts, the only thing worth die(t)ing for!”
“It’s from this that you get your strength: the red meat of protein!”
“Something you love better than carbs, though you may not know it: protein!”

“Protein! Protein! Protein! Atkins. I’ll go back on Atkins. I’ll think of some way to get thin again. After all, tomorrow is another day!”

Sure it’s boring but I’m never hungry. If I have to lie(in the sun), steal (a few moments for myself), cheat (and let Ben win at arm wrestling) and kill (time blogging), As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!