Susan Senator

I am thinking about my birthday a month early for some reason (it’s just there, in my head), and what I want to do for it. Maybe because it is cold down here in the diningroom for the first time all season, and it’s crisply blue outside. The colors are like stained glass, so sharp and sparkly. Fall light. It’s early, and yet, I have to make the plan.

I think I figured it out: a costume party! My birthday (October 18) is close enough to Halloween that it is the right season. That would be my present: to see all my friends dressed up in costume. Another wish: that my friends who moved to Florida would be here for it, you know who you are.

We could cater it with all kinds of spooky foods and decorate of course in some manner that would please me and create an atmosphere. I’d probably do Casbah meets 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

I always lose my nerve somewhere along the line with these things. It’s been a while since I had an all-out party here. How do I hold onto this feeling?

I guess I would ask Nat’s teachers to help prepare him for all those people in the house at night. Maybe I’d have someone here for him, but I don’t see how that would work. Maybe he’d want to dress like Zorro, his usual. But it would not be a party with kids, so he’d probably just be upstairs. How would that work? I don’t know if that would be okay with him. Here’s what I wish: that Max would invite him in to watch a movie with him on his new TV. Nat loves Max’s bed. He also loves Max, who is always kind to him. They could sit together; Max at his desk, on his laptop, and Nat on the bed, lying on Patrick the huge stuffed dog. Ben would probably stay away unless we rent The Matrix, which Nat loves (all that falling off of buildings). Hmmmm. Then maybe all three could watch together. That would be another present.