Susan Senator

Being a Libra, the scales in the Zodiac, I am supposed to be in balance. Or is it that I seek balance? Or, perhaps I am fascinated by the concept of balance, but I also shy away from it because in balance you cannot have intensity. I need intensity. So, in my life, being in balance, in accord with most things, is extremely elusive. I find that most of the time, I am listing to one side or another, throwing the other things up in the air like a partially vacated see-saw.

Today I was either very active, or with Ned or Nat. I worked out at the gym for an hour: cardio and then resistance, and then at night I danced/drilled for about 40 minutes (still trying to achieve the perfect hip circle, both small interior, and grand. The full hip circle is such a quintessentially bellydance move because it is a sudden level change, but in an unexpected and sensual manner: you bend forward at the waist, straight-kneed, flat-feet, and completely flat-back, and you roll your torso all the way around in the opposite direction from your hips, butt out and in the air, arms crossed over chest. This is a move you would never see in ballet, for example. It is very earthy and womanly, seductive and chaste all at once.).

Because of my craving for worked muscle and stretched sinew, I was largely boy-free. At 11:30 Ned and I brought Nat downtown to see the Harlem Globetrotters, dropping him off with his Northeastern U. buddy and several of his pals from Friday night group. Nat had never been to the Banknorth Garden, Boston’s huge coliseum, and I worried about the newness of the place and the noise. But as soon as Julie came along with that sweet smile, Nat was all a-stimmy with happiness. So we left him there and didn’t see him again until late afternoon.

Ned and I drove from there to Cambridge to a Starbucks and sat in a sunny window and shared a little sweet treat. That was nice, but it also had that slightly illicit feeling, like we had forgotten something or someone or we were playing hooky. That kind of made it even more thrilling. After that we went home and he took Max and Ben to get books and I just worked on the school newsletter for a bit, and then changed into my bellydance gear for my 3:00 class in Cambridge.

It turned out we were bumped from the studio, so class was canceled. I got home just as Nat and Julie did, too. They had had a great time, of course. Nat disappeared to watch a movie and Max, Ben and Nat were upstairs doing something else, not sure what. I was mindlessly surfing around, looking at Bhuz.com and contemplating a lime green cossie. Eventually I needed to nap, which happens from too much Bhuzzing.

So aside from dinner, I don’t feel like I was with the boys much, but instead I was in my head and my body a whole lot. I wish it didn’t have to be that something always seems to lose out, even when I’m happy, but I guess that is what happens with a multi-layered life.