Susan Senator

Yesterday we were up in New Hampshire visiting Ned’s dad and stepmom.  They have a new cat, almost a kitten, the black kind with the white markings.  His name is Scotty, and he is really friendly.  Still, that didn’t mean much to Nat.  As soon as he saw the cat, he backed away, saying, “Nooo.”  His strong and certain “No” is very striking.  Innocent and confident at the same time.  He hears over and over that these pets won’t hurt him, but it just doesn’t get in.  He tenses up and he struggles to wrench himself free, even when I am gently holding his hands telling him it’s okay.

As a little guy Nat didn’t really notice animals.  I remember taking him to farms, zoos, to animal movies:  nothing.  He knew what animals “said.”  He knew Floppy Bunny was a rabbit and that Fuzzy Minken was a minken (monkey? bear? lamb? we just don’t know, but Nat called him Fuzzy Minken and that was that.).

The fear of animals has nothing to do with his autism.  And I don’t think autism has anything to do with his stubbornly insistent fear in the face of all explanations and evidence that he should not be afraid.  I think what’s happened is that this is yet another awakening of Nat’s.  His animal switch went on.  He’s aware and he’s afraid.  He is aware of danger now; I can see it when he rides his bike, the way he swerves to the side to avoid cars.  But to get him to understand that most people’s pets are safe is a hard thing to do.

Max and Ben played a lot with Scotty, getting him to jump up and chase stuff.  Max really loves cats these days, I think because Hannah turned him onto them.  She has four.  They watch kitty videos together pretty often.  Anyway, Max was in love with little Scotty.  We all were, except for Nat.

At one point we were sitting in the living room watching something on tv, and Nat was in the armchair.  Max was standing next to Nat. I became aware that Scotty was moving a lot back and forth because Nat kept fidgeting.  I also became aware that Max had his hand right near Nat. and he would lay it right on Nat’s shoulder, saying, “It’s okay Nat,” every time Nat tried to leap up. Nat would settle right back in his chair as soon as Max’s hand went to his shoulder.  I’ve never seen Max and Nat interact like that, ever.  I have never seen Max being tender to Nat, and Nat responding.  It’s like the brother bond switch just got turned on — in both of them.