Susan Senator

That was absolutely beautiful and mirrors my own experience with my son. Once I relaxed around him instead of tiptoeing around the 800 pound A word in the room, we started having a real connection. Yes, at first it was only on his terms, but the other day he did ask me what I had done that day. I told him and he told me I was a really useful mommy(Like Thomas the Tank Engine). That’s good enough for me.

Susan, what a beautifully written and eloquent post.

Love it. Has he stopped obsessing about the neighbors’ front porch light as well? That’s awesome that you two were able to make that connection and problem solve. I know how stressful the whole lights thing has been for you both.

Susan: I saw your blog post on the NYTimes online and set off to find your blog.

My daughter was born in 1980 and from a very young age I KNEW something was ‘different’ from her brother who was 13 year older. I have ALWAYS believed that she had the ability to determine her ‘safeness’ or security by the people around her. On the other side of that ability, she was also quite capable of finding ‘buttons’ that she enjoyed ‘pushing;’ mine in particular and others in authority. Funny, I really never thought of it in the terms that you have offered with such clarity.

She LOVED dinosaurs [still does] and when Jurassic Park came out I saw that she was like the Velociraptor [she thought it was cool] testing all the ‘fences’ to determine her safety, but, I didn’t realize that maybe a little encouragement, reinforced security, ?? would help her feel safe. Unfortunately, I became a pretty good victim through it all.

I look forward to reading your posts and hope that my soon-to-publish blog will be insightful to you and others.