Susan's Blog

Friday, January 26, 2007

Boyful Prayer

To keep you safe
I am here
You don’t even see me
I disappear
But I follow you
When you go off to school
I see you with others
You bend to their rule
I catch a glimpse
of you with some guys
I wanted to wince
–They made you cry

You’re still young
So I charged in
Mad elephant Mommy
Made their heads spin

But your brothers — well
They’re older, you see
The world where they dwell
Is off limits to me.

I decode a face
Cling to the notebook
Sift through words in space
Search in a secret look —

But how do I know
If you all are okay?
The pain, large and small
You feel during the day
That boy felt pain, too
Who understood him?
The father, the mother?
They all did what they could do
But he still killed the other.
I grieve for them both
The alive and the dead
They make me think of you
They fill me with dread.

This life is so hard
Even without blood or war
Just being you
Without feeling heartsore.

If I could
I would live forever
To keep you safe
To make things good.

1 comment

If only we could live forever. You never fail to make me try my best, to search for this feeling, to hold it before it is no longer there for me. Before they are too old to show their need. My heart pours out to you and all the rest who ache like this. Thank you again for expressing it so well.

— added by mrs. gilb on Sunday, January 28, 2007 at 2:41 pm

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