Susan's Blog

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Babies Mine

It’s 7/11, and I’m slurping a huge coffee in its honor. Actually. I slurp huge coffees every morning, but this one is especially delicious because NS got up before me and made it for once! And in about a half hour I will have a foamy latte, because my sister brought her mini espresso machine.

This is Laura’s last day here after which she will go down to the Cape with her kids to see our parents. It has been a great visit. Ben and Kim have played nonstop. No fights at all, although they almost never do anyway. Paul has played more with them than he used to, because Max is a bit more independent and busy. And fifteen. But he will still get out the video camera and film their movie. For a few hours I kept seeing Ben, Kim, and Paul running around in costumes and black capes; can’t wait to see what they made!

Natty hovers around the edges of their activities. Once, when they went out to play, he joined them, even rolling down the hill once with them. Laura went with him on a walk to Starbucks, which really melted my heart. She just loves him so much and always tries. Even though the night before he had probably the worst outburst in months. Poor Ned has blood blisters on his hand.

But having Laura there to observe the entire thing led her to wonder if Nat’s meds are at a low at dinnertime, which is when the outbursts happen generally (even with the daily note, efforts to eat all at once, spices accessible). She is a seasoned pediatrician, and she suggested that we split Nat’s evening Resperdal, giving him one of the halves right when he gets home from school, and the rest at bedtime. I emailed my doctor and asked what he thought of this. He gave us the green light, so last night we tried it.

Nat took his meds and went on the walk with Laura: the Starbucks for an M & M cookie, about a mile away. When he got back, there was just a minimum of questioning about dinner, and when would everyone be back and at the table. And that was just me! No, I’m kidding. What I’m saying is Nat seemed to feel really great last night. Of course now I don’t know whether it was the boost in Resperadone or if it was Laura’s sweet attention!

He even had Laura read him two stories. She told me that while reading Dumbo, he gets very quiet during the parts about Dumbo’s mother. Oh, Sweet Guy! I will never let mean people flip your ears!

Here it is, the loveliest part of that movie:

Baby mine, don’t you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine
Little one when you play
Don’t you mind what you say
Let those eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine
If they knew sweet little you
They’d end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they’d give just for
The right to hold you
From your head to your toes
You’re not much, goodness knows
But you’re so precious to me
Cute as can be, baby of mine
–Dumbo’s Mom


Oh man, everytime I even THINK about Dumbo and his mom, I cry. I haven’t even seen the movie in years, but it has the power to upset me, even now.

Glad you found a better solution for Nat! Hopefully it will make dinners much much more smoother for the whole family and for Nat.

— added by I Wax Poetic on Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 8:57 am

Colleen always cries at that part in Dumbo. Me too, I guess.

— added by Andrew on Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 9:33 am

I keep hoping that meltdowns are something that they ‘grow out of’ / find a different coping mechanism.
As my boys get bigger the meltdowns are less frequent [relatively] but I can see that they’re never going to disappear.
Best wishes

— added by Maddy on Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 9:46 am

Oh boy, you got with that posting of Baby Mine. Today, July 11th marks 11 years since my son Christopher passed away. He was 22 months old, born with some “challenges” but oh-so perfect to me.

At his funeral, Baby Mine was one of the songs we played because it was one of our favorites and so very fitting.

Thank you for helping the flood gates release today.

Jamie from Portland Oregon

— added by Anonymous on Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 12:32 pm

I was completely fine until I read the song. Now I am weeping…that’s the song I used to sing to Nik every day of our seven months in the NICU. I still cannot even hum it without crying…but they’re good tears.

I hope the reallocation of meds helps your stud-muffin son! (I say that b/c the picture you posted makes him look quite handsome and as if he is posing for some magazine! LOL) I know when Nik would get some of his seizure meds at the same time he would get terrible ataxia and would fall a lot. We separated the doses and it worked great.

— added by Niksmom on Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 2:16 pm

I’m sorry, I did not realize. Glad you found some comfort from this.

Dumbo has a special place in my heart because he reminds me of both Nat and Max. He looks a bit like baby Max, with the round blue eyes and his great affection for his Mom; his situation reminds me of little Nat, how misunderstood he has been.

— added by Susan Senator on Thursday, July 12, 2007 at 8:02 am


Thank you – it felt good reading the lyrics, I let myself have a really good cry.

Yep, Dumbo is near and dear to me as well. So innocent and misunderstood, and the love between Mama and Dumbo – I associate that to myself and Christopher so much.


— added by Anonymous on Thursday, July 12, 2007 at 9:14 pm