Susan Senator
All happy families are not alike...
All happy families are not alike...
My Comeback Came and Went
A really great comic strip came my way via one of my autism email lists (Thanks Lisa!). A huge topic of conversation among autism parents is “the comeback that got away.” Why do our words leave us when we have an obvious situation demanding that we step in and straighten out some jerk? Like the teenage twits on the beach who were laughing and staring at Natty. I should have said, “_______” Instead I flung sand on them. Or the family who kept staring and whispering about Nat and Max (because of his dreds, I guess). Eventually when we were leaving I caught the dad’s eye and stared at him. But he smiled at me, so I waved. D’oh. I waved! Why am I such a nice girl?
What is the best comeback you have ever had for a rude person? Maybe I’ll get to use one of them one day.
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I’m not much for comebacks. More like the heckler or, well, look at my handle!
That’s a great strip, I wish some papers would pick it up.
This was reported to me at the conclusion of a playdate. My son had a playdate in December with a classmate (both boys are 6). The boy’s father (let’s call him Rob) took the 2 boys bowling and then out for lunch at a sub shop. At the end of the meal, the manager came over and offered the kids cookies. My son said, “no, thank you.” Rob insisted my son take the cookie. My son did not want it and left it on the tray. Rob kept telling my son to eat the cookie. The time came to leave and my son got up and threw his trash and the cookie away. Rob asked him if he threw the cookie away and my son said no. An argument insued as Rob kept insisting that he saw my son throw it out. They left and Rob drove my son home. He reported that it was a great playdate, etc. About 15 minutes later, the phone rings and Rob reports the above to me and how he can’t allow my son to play with his son any longer as my son is a liar and he can’t trust him. After much discussion, we are about to end the phone call. Rob says to me – don’t tell your son that I called – tell him it was the manager from the sub shop. I said – well, Rob, then I would be lying.
We talked to our son about the cookie incident and he said he felt so pressured to eat the cookie he didn’t want, that he felt like he had to get rid of it to end the problem.
Needless to say, the boys have not played together again but not because of my 6 year olds moment of untruth but because of Rob, a father who can only see black and white.
This was very recent. My daughter blends pretty well, but occasionally her speech and vocabulary will strike others as odd. It was some such occasion, where an ice cream clerk asked her if she wanted sprinkles. She innocently and enthusiastically answered with “Would I?! I’ll say!” (Big deal, right?) Some pubescent kids rolled their eyes and snickered. My daughter got her ice cream and happily skipped out of the store. Without blinking, I looked them dead in the eye and growled, “I DARE YOU.” Then I gave a few-seconds wait time and stalked out. They were embarrassed. I felt childish and bad afterwards.
But not too bad.
At the library, today, my son was closely examining some of the A/C vents–he loves any kind of vent/fan/heater/refrigeration system–and a librarian ordered him to get away from the vent because it was “dangerous” and he “might get shocked.” It was just a VENT! I decided not to argue with her about whether or not vents carry electricity or explain about my son’s unusual interests, and I called my son over to stand next to me. The librarian handed him a couple of books, one of which slipped out of her hand and hit my son at the edge of his eye, causing a minor scrape.
I said, “There are too many books around here! The library needs to get rid of them as soon as possible before some other kid gets hurt!”
I don’t have any pithy comebacks but I must share this with you. I haven’t laughed so hard in a very long time…
http://badladies.blogspot.com/2007/07/so-how-dilated-are-you.html
If you aren’t familiar with Wonderbaby and Her Bad Mother…very funny blogger. Enjoy!
I think flinging sand is a good comeback!
My neighbors have a dog which is the size of a shetland pony. He barks … constantly. So one day, as I was spraying the dog with a hose at 6:00 AM on a Saturday morning to shut him up, the owner of the dog came out of the house. He said that he didn’t mind at all if I sprayed the dog.
“It must be a real pain in the butt for you to have to come out of the house to spray the dog just to get some peace and quiet.”
I retorted saying “It must be a difficult for you to be the known by the entire neighborhood as the most inconsiderate person on the planet.”
We get a lot of looks at our pool, usually from those that don’t know my son yet. He is allowed to swim during the 15 minute adult swim because it is therapeutic for him and we get in with him and supervise. The other day a boy of about 10 years old came over and said to me, “You know, it’s adult swim, he needs to get out of the pool.” And I just said, “Why don’t I worry about him, and you worry about yourself?” But, no sooner had I said that than my younger son came storming up to him and yelled, “Hey, he’s autistic and it’s therapeutic for him to be in the pool, so just buzz off!” the kid said, “Okay, okay….” and walked off – he’d lost that one! this same kid laughed at my son (who is 9) when he took off his bathing suit in the pool – he loves to feel everything against his skin. I just calmly walked over and helped him put it back on, but the kid saw it and laughed saying, “Ah ha, he’s naked, ah ha!” And, after having a beer on an empty stomach I just wanted to scream at the kid, but I just gave him a glare and said, “It’s not funny.” and he looked down, and said, “I know.” and that was the end of that. But, I never know from day to day how I will feel about little attacks on my son, and how I will react. Lot’s of times I just say, “Good job, honey – you did great, I am so proud of you!!” just to let people know he’s got my support and I’m not afraid to be very verbal about it.
Last year my brother committed suicide. Not long after, my sister ran into a woman who had seen my brother proessionally (he was a well known oncologist). The woman looked at my sister and said “Funny your brother helped so many people but he couldn’t even help himself.” The woman then kind of looked a little shocked as if her thoughts had been allowed to be verbalized. My sister who was still reeling from the shock of our brother’s death, looked at the woman and said, “Don’t worry, sometimes I say stupid things too.”
I love Clear Blue Water. I check it every day, have it bookmarked in my favorites. Just go to yahoo and then click on news, then click on comics. 😉
I’ve done the same thing and could kick myself. We do it because deep down we’re good people.
I like Mary Beth’s and Anonymous#4’s.