Susan's Blog

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I Know

When there’s no more for you
No more tests, no more school, no more meetings, no more funds, no more things to try
When the label is all that sticks
When people are sorry for me even before they know me
When even some know you and they forget you are still there
When you hide behind your little voice and your unknown words
And your big black velcro shoes make you seem a little like a clown
or an old man
Not serious
And your ruffled honey hair still bends sideways like it always did (you still don’t brush it)

And they all forget that you hear, see, think and feel
Confusion, anger, yes. But also agony, ecstasy, boredom. Joy.
You just don’t talk like them.
So they forget that you are.

Even after the whole world has given up on you
And everyone stops trying

Just remember that I never, ever will.
Because I know.


Perfect and beautiful.

I went to hear Ralph Savarese tonight and he shared the same message. I went into the ugly/guilty cry, thinking of the times we’ve forgotten Jack was right there all along, longing to connect.

You and Mr. Savarese both inspired me to pay attention … to do better … to believe more. For that I say thanks. I needed the nudge….

— added by Judith on Tuesday, October 23, 2007 at 10:05 pm

that made me sad. is there hope?

— added by Someone Said on Tuesday, October 23, 2007 at 11:38 pm


— added by Drama Mama on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 at 12:43 am

Of course there’s hope. Wherever there is love, respect, and life left to live, there is hope.

— added by Susan Senator on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 at 5:59 am

Very lovely. This touched me, made me a bit sad too. Nat reminds me a bit of one of my boys.

— added by KAL on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 at 11:01 am

wonderful piece. It reminds me of a Willa Cather quote that I hang on to-
“Where there is great love there are always miracles.”

— added by Anonymous on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 at 3:10 pm

Susan Marie Senator! (I don’t know your middle name so I made that up.) Hope? There will be hope for Nat forever. New treatments (readers, don’t throw things at me, I’m speaking from my heart) better understanding, and a cadre of compatriots as all our kids “age out.” You ain’t never gonna be alone. And neither is your son. The rest of us autism Moms will see to that.


— added by Kim Rossi Stagliano on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 at 5:17 pm

Kim –
If anyone ever dared to throw something at you they’d have to go through me!!!
Right now I am considering FC, of all things, because of Ralph Sevarese!!! There’s always new stuff, you are right.

By the way, legal middle name is “Linda,” but now I call myself “SusanLilia”

— added by Susan Senator on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 at 5:21 pm

You said the words that are in my heart. Thank you.

— added by Okasaneko on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 at 11:37 pm

So poignant and lovely and real. I read this post a few days ago, have been hearing your words echoing in my head and heart as I observe my own Autistically influenced child. “I know……….” Just beautiful, Susan. Thank you.

— added by Em's Mom on Thursday, October 25, 2007 at 9:11 am

Sniffle. Beautiful and oh so necessary.

— added by Niksmom on Thursday, October 25, 2007 at 1:24 pm

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