Susan's Blog

Sunday, December 21, 2008

On Ice

A terrible outburst, with aggression and self-injurious behavior. A totally beaten-down feeling, a weak evil ghost whispering, “you thought all was well…”

A minor blip, some will say. Not enough routine, others will say. Wintertime blahs.

Whatever it was, there is sad wintry gloom everywhere. Max is sick. Ben ran hiding into his room and I have that old familiar nauseous dread and a bloody hand. Ned is getting into the snowy car to take Nat back and I am going to go to bed.


I am so sorry that this happened. And I know those feelings as well, especially when you think that all is well and he/she is not prone to outburst anymore…or so it seems.

— added by Holly Nappi Collins on Sunday, December 21, 2008 at 3:42 pm

I’m so sorry, Susan. Warm hugs to you.

— added by ASDmomNC on Sunday, December 21, 2008 at 6:13 pm

Don’t give up! Your Nat needs you the most right now!

— added by Anonymous on Sunday, December 21, 2008 at 6:24 pm

My thoughts are with you, Ned, Max, Ben and Nat. Sending warmth your way, for everyone.

— added by Penny on Sunday, December 21, 2008 at 7:16 pm

When Max leaves home you’ll discover that the suddenly adult child can be insufferable, have setbacks, make bad decisions, etc. Nat, your oldest is no different from young men the same age.

Growing pangs. “Who am I anyway?”

Holidays can be tough for everyone.

Hang in there, this too has passed and the “house” is there for this reason.

— added by Anonymous on Sunday, December 21, 2008 at 9:02 pm

I know this feels like the whole world has caved in on you, but don’t let it overshadow all the positive growth you have seen in Nat recently. I think after a few days you will start to see that the good stuff far outweighs the bad. At least that’s what usually happens to me. Hopefully, it will for you too. Hugs and good wishes sent your way, from me to you, and to your family this holiday season.

— added by Candy on Sunday, December 21, 2008 at 10:55 pm

I hope you have not lost power; I am watching the news and it was reported that power was out in Worcester; I think that is where you live or nearby. Of course, if power is out, you are not reading this! It has been in the mid ’70’s here and humid and hot. I finally told the kids to shut up about no snow. It’s just not going to happen. We have lived through enough hurricanes wherein the power was out for a week and a half. Just more stresses for our darlings (and us) dealing with autism. Please write and tell us you made it through okay.

— added by Sharon L. on Monday, December 22, 2008 at 9:27 am

It’s one bad day, surrounded by many days of triumph and breakthroughs

— added by Someone Said on Monday, December 22, 2008 at 9:58 am

Susan, I am so sorry. I am praying for you and your family.

Love, Laura

— added by Laura in L.A. on Monday, December 22, 2008 at 11:23 am

I hope today is a better day for all of you.

— added by gretchen on Monday, December 22, 2008 at 1:49 pm

Ugh… bad day. Take it easy, take a little time out to recover. Hang in there.

— added by Chaoticidealism on Monday, December 22, 2008 at 6:18 pm

As I clicked on your blog and began reading this post, in that very instant, my 14 year old 6 foot 1 inch 185 pound non-verbal son with autism leaped up and threw his video across the room and began bellowing. Major melt-down on a dime. That’s (our) life!

Hope your hand heals quickly.

— added by Nancy Bea Miller on Monday, December 22, 2008 at 8:10 pm

Hand is fine; I’m such a wimp! I’m nervous about tomorrow, when Nat comes home, but all of you teach me that it is possibly just a blip and not the sign of a new terrible phase.

— added by Susan Senator on Monday, December 22, 2008 at 8:58 pm

I am so sorry to hear about the outburst and the illnesses. The holidays can be so rough on us. Nick had a meltdown yesterday because we had to stop sledding and go somewhere. He screamed the whole time in the car until he could get out and walk in the snow again. Sending hugs your way!!

— added by Amy on Tuesday, December 23, 2008 at 1:17 pm